Why Doesn’t My Child Sleep? How to Help Your Child Fall Asleep

As a mom, I know firsthand how challenging it can be when your little one struggles to fall asleep. Before I became a parent, I brushed off stories about sleepless nights as exaggerated tales. But after “winning” a child who barely slept and could be woken by the slightest sound—like a fly buzzing—I quickly stopped laughing. Talking to other parents revealed that a peacefully sleeping baby was as rare as a white raven. Nighttime wake-ups, long waits for sleep, and middle-of-the-night stirrings were common struggles among friends. These issues didn’t just crop up at the start of parenthood—sometimes even a baby who once slept like a rock would start waking frequently around their second birthday. But don’t lose hope! There are plenty of strategies to help both your child and your family achieve restful sleep.

Every child is unique, and the reasons behind sleep troubles or nighttime waking can vary widely. The tips below are just suggestions—there’s no one-size-fits-all guarantee, as every parent knows!

1. Understanding Your Child’s Natural Sleep Cycles

Before diving into solutions, it’s worth understanding how children’s sleep works. Babies, especially newborns, have vastly different sleep needs compared to adults. In the first few months, a baby may need 16–18 hours of sleep per day! As they grow, their sleep patterns begin to resemble those of adults, but nighttime waking can still happen. Knowing this can help you set realistic expectations and tailor your approach.

2. Bedtime Routine: The Key to Success

Kids thrive on routine—it’s the foundation of successful sleep. A newborn enters a world that’s entirely new, and it’s our job to help them adjust. When a child knows what to expect each night, it fosters a sense of security and relaxation. Create a consistent evening ritual, like a warm bath, changing into pajamas, reading a favorite book, singing a lullaby, or cuddling. These actions signal that bedtime is near.

Keep in mind that children fall asleep best in a calm, comfortable environment. Avoid stimulating activities right before bed, like watching TV or listening to loud music. Don’t assume a newborn is oblivious—screen light while feeding can mimic daylight, tricking their brain into thinking it’s time to wake up, leaving them restless.
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3. The Right Temperature and Environment

Ensure your child’s room is sleep-friendly. Too hot, too cold, or too bright can all disrupt sleep. Experts suggest an ideal room temperature of 18–21°C (64–70°F). Darkness is also key—consider blackout curtains, which made a huge difference for us when our child got older, especially in reducing the time it took to fall asleep.

4. Feeding Before Bed: Yes, But in Moderation

For infants, a pre-bedtime feed can encourage sleep. However, it can backfire later. If a baby learns to fall asleep while eating, they might rely on it to settle back down after waking at night. With older kids, nighttime feeding can become a habit their body expects. If your child wakes up hungry, try gradually stretching the time between feeds to help them sleep through the night. Better yet, skip feeding at the start of the sleep cycle and introduce an alternative soothing method instead.

5. Why Won’t My Child Sleep Through the Night?

Frequent waking or trouble falling asleep isn’t always about sleep itself—emotions often play a role, even if unrelated to physical needs. Nightmares, fears, or anxiety can wake kids up. In these moments, your presence matters. Gently rub their back or reassure them everything’s okay. This builds an emotionally secure bond, showing they can rely on you. Soothe their feelings positively—don’t just quiet them with a bottle.

6. Nighttime Fears in Older Kids: How to Handle Them

As children grow, they may experience night terrors or fears—a normal developmental phase. Darkness, closet monsters, or imaginary threats can feel real to them. Help by adding a small nightlight for comfort or a stuffed animal as a “protector.” Check the room for anything that might spark their imagination, like shadowy corners or oddly shaped objects.

7. When Your Child Won’t Sleep and You’re Out of Ideas

These tips aim to improve sleep hygiene, but results won’t happen overnight. If sleep problems persist despite your efforts, consider underlying causes like:

Emotional overload: Life changes (new preschool, family issues like divorce or arguments).
Overstimulation: Too many toys, screens, or late playtime.
Health issues: Tummy aches or teething pain.
Nutritional gaps: Deficiencies affecting sleep.

If concerns linger, consult a pediatrician or child sleep specialist to rule out medical factors.